The Ugly Truth

A few days ago I turned on the TV to find the movie "The Ugly Truth" starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. I realized I hadn't seen the movie in a while and thought maybe it would be a good thing to look at for this blog.
The whole movie is about Katherine Heigl's character, Abby, trying to change herself so that a man she likes will like her in return. Gerard Butler's character, Mike, has a TV show called "The Ugly Truth" where he talks about the truth about men.
She changes everything about herself, from the way she talks, dresses, the way she thinks about sex, and her overall attitude. Mike is constantly helping her change with the advice he gives her about men. While his advice is successful in helping her score the man she wanted, she realizes that in the end he doesn't even like her, he likes what Mike has made her.
While I think it is important that the viewer understands that it is wrong to change yourself for a man, the movie lacks any discussion or controversy over the way Mike actually wants her to act. He wants her to wear a different bra, wants her to eat her food sexually, wants her to dangle her sexuality in front of the guy so he will "fall in love" with her. The problem with this is that it is purely a man's eye, having nothing to do with a woman's sexuality.
The movie also shows scenes with almost naked girls rolling around in jello pools and twins wrapped around Mike's arms. This film continuously feeds into the male fantasy. This is just like what I previously discussed about women in music videos. The media continues to cater to men, and at some point, women start to view it as the norm as well. The movie shows how she doesn't really love the other guy in the end, because he doesn't like her for her, but she falls for Mike. In the end, does this really say that its okay to be yourself, and embrace your own ways and own sexuality? She didn't revert back to her old self entirely in the end, and she wound up with an attractive man who looks at women in this way!
If anything, I think that this movie says a lot about the male fantasy and the role that it plays in many types of media. Maybe it is the ugly truth that men think this way, but women should have to change themselves to score a great man.
This is when I start to think about Lena Dunham again. Just thinking about her, and her character on "GIRLS", Hannah, completely contradicts Abby's character. I think about if Hannah had been put in this situation...
Say Hannah has a crush on her new, cute neighbor, and a man tries to help her get him. If he told her to change the same things that Mike told Abby to change, I think that Hannah would think they were ridiculous. Maybe she would try some new makeup, but she would give up and say fuck it. Her character doesn't just do this to be abnormal, she does it because she is a woman and she knows who she is. I don't think that Lena Dunham would ever allow one of her characters to be so affected by such a stereotypical male. It is also rare that you see this huge male fantasy anywhere in her show. The sex scenes are raw and almost always painfully awkward to watch, that's probably because she doesn't lie about the content. When a man creates this kind of situation he dolls up the girl, makes sure her body is (unnaturally) perfect, and creates her like a pornstar. Lena Dunham just shows the reality of what she thinks happens in the lives of young women.
This contrast makes me wonder if there would be more of a change if there were less films like "The Ugly Truth" and more like "GIRLS". We cannot forget that the viewers of both of these are primarily women. "The Ugly Truth" is a romantic comedy, it is not made for men, yet we still see it catering to their ideals. If women were more exposed to shows lacking this false ideal, would women still think about themselves the same way?

The Biggest Line

Do you ever think about the contradiction created about women's sexuality in our society? The media presents women as overly-sexualized yet the other half of the time women are presented as reserved and pure. Everyone knows there is a double standard when it comes to sex. Men praise each other for having sex with lots of women, yet if a woman did that, she would be called a whore. Once again, women are still shown as being over-sexualized in the media, yet we want them to be innocent? That makes absolutely no sense. Men want their partners to be experienced and sexy, but somewhat untouched by other men. Of course, there are exceptions and there are plenty of people that have moved past this horrible standard, but how can we expect women to be two completely different things? Girls care more about waiting for the "right guy" or waiting until they feel like a guy won't leave her if she sleeps with him. I have to ask if women would still do this if there wasn't such an emphasis on girls keeping it "ladylike" or "conservative". Would we just sleep with a man once we felt attracted to them enough to do it, and not worry if he will call you again or if he won't ask you on another date? Why do men get that power over women? Lena Dunham almost completely ignores this whole double standard on her show "GIRLS". Not once do we see a character sitting around saying, "should I sleep with him yet? What if he doesn't want to date me after?" In fact, Shoshanna, the virgin of the show actually shows the opposite. She is almost embarrassed that she is a virgin and she wants to have sex. Now she doesn't go to a club and find an attractive, random, man to take home, but I would argue that just isn't in her personality. She reconnects with a guy she had known from camp when she was younger. They hang out one day, and she decides this is a comfortable situation for her to lose her virginity in. She gets close to having sex with him and tells him that she is a virgin (only as a warning because she is scared she will bleed), and guess what? He freaks out. She said, "I'm totally ready to have sex, I've just never had sex before, so I just thought I'd tell you that." He wont have sex with her because of it; he rolls off of her and says "it's really not my thing". Would he have had sex with her if she had already slept with 20 men? I don't know. There is this very blurred line around women's sexuality and what is expected of them. Shoshanna was given this opportunity to explore her sexuality (as a college-aged woman) and denied because she was too virginal, she tried to convince him she wouldn't get attatched. Let me remind you, she never sat around wondering if he'd date her or anything after. I can't count the number of times I have talked to a girlfriend about whether I should, or she should have sex with a guy I've been seeing because of the fear that he will then think you're "easy" and run away. So where are men satisfied? Why should we satisfy them? Shoshanna was trying to do something for herself, and he got freaked out. If you have an HBO account, or another way to watch the show, I encourage you to watch this on episode 4 of season 1. Everyone has their personal opinion on what is too much or too little, but should the media be putting those opinions in our head? Without all of the almost naked women and innocent, prude women on TV, what would women's sexuality really look like? I have no way of answering that, but I think that Lena Dunham creates a more realistic world for women in her show. Hannah has sex with who she wants, when she wants, and the guys don't pass judgement on her. She never sits around with Marnie and wonders whether she should hold out on Adam, her love interest, in order to make him like her more. It is ridiculous that young women search and search for balance between seeming conservative and still sexy in order to keep some guy around. I'd like to remind any girl that has ever thought about that that if a guy stops talking to you after you had sex with him, he is definitely not a guy you want to make your boyfriend. He clearly doesn't like you for you. The media completely ignores this simple fact all of the time. So where is the line? I say there isn't one, or there isn't one overriding rule for every woman. The media makes women feel like they shouldn't be sluts but they should be sexual and experienced, so would they also just like to tell us to have sex with 4 men ever and if you are below that you're prude, and above you're a slut? Some young women sit around and wonder if a guy is worth wasting a NUMBER on. How crazy is that? A number, it is a thought in your head that controls your experience. Would this limit we set exist if the media didn't present women in these lights? If the media were more honest and realistic like on "GIRLS", would we care what people think, or about numbers? Or would we just be able to do what we want and what we feel comfortable with? This extremely blurred line in the media should just be erased, because in reality it doesn't exist.

Hannah Horvath

Lena Dunham plays Hannah on "Girls", but is also the creator, producer, and writer of the show itself. She is an outstanding figure in the media, her hit show has shown HBO subscribers the reality of young women. Focus on that fact for a second: seen by HBO subscribers. Personally, I watch "Girls", and other HBO series by using a friend's account, or finding the show online somewhere, illegally. Many people are not subscribed to HBO and don't know about the show "Girls", so they aren't going to take that extra step to find a way to watch it. The only way to get HBO straight on your TV is to pay for a whole premium package with your cable provider, which most people don't want to spend to watch a special series or two. With this, the audience of "Girls" is very limited. However, the audience that is reached by this remarkable show may be lucky enough to get Lena's message of reality. She uses four unique young women to represent different women in their early twenties. This show is often seen as the new, younger twist on "Sex in the City", and there are certainly many things the show has in common. "Girls" shows the reality of what its like to be a young woman in our society. I think that is what makes the show so great, the characters are extremely relatable; they talk to each other the way real girls their age act with their friends, they make the same crazy decisions, they go through the same awkward relationships. In my previous post I talked about Jessa, who could be the modern, younger version of Samantha from "Sex in the City". Her character is real and relatable, and is nothing like the sexual woman we are use to seeing on MTV and E! and other mainstream networks.
Hannah is somewhat different than Jessa in that she isn't a bombshell. Hannah dresses poorly, doesn't know how to carry herself, or do her makeup, she doesn't know how to be the perfect intern or the perfect girlfriend. All of these things just make her more real to women in our society though, there are plenty of characteristics of Hannah I could see in myself, or in my best friend, or sister. We all have flaws, and Hannah embraces them and continues to live her life without letting them affect her. This is special because in our society, the media makes us think that women can't be like Hannah, they aren't like Hannah often, but this is beyond untrue.
Think of the Kardashians, none of the sisters did much to be famous, and they are looked up to as perfect by thousands of women. They are curvier, and sometimes relatable in their family relationships, so it is a little more believable that women can look like them. We find one thing to relate to, and then it seems possible to be like them, we want to look like them. What's not to love about their long luscious hairstyles, and their perfect tan skin? Well society is forgetting how many hours they spend doing their hair, makeup, and training to have perfect bodies. What woman has time for that, and the money?
Lena Dunham is a voice against this kind of presence in the media when she simply shows the truth about women. Hannah can be naked on screen, with her imperfect body, and pale skin, and she can still be loved by men and by her female friends. She has no job, most of the time, so she has no money to go buy tons of makeup and hair extensions, to make her look like every other male fantasy in New York. Lena is helping to define the "blurred lines" our society, and media struggle to understand: that may be that there are no lines. Women shouldn't have to fall into categories, or be limited in their sexuality in any way. Jessa shows how women don't have to fit the media's view of whore-like women to indulge in their sexuality. Hannah, on the other hand shows how all women can be themselves and still be loved and engage in sexual relationships.
Lets do a little experiment, listen to this scenario:
One day a man walks in to a café next door to his house in New York City, and wants to speak with the owner because the cafe's trash keeps winding up in his dumpster. Turns out it is the young girl that works there, and has decided to be rebellious. She winds up paying the man a visit, and winds up sleeping with him and staying a few days, hanging out around the house naked and having sex with this complete stranger. Now what did you picture when you thought of that woman?

 Was the girl you pictured something like this? An attractive girl with a mischievous look on her face, she's been throwing the trash in the neighbors dumpster just so she could meet that man? Am I wrong for thinking that this is an accurate guess? This is what the media would probably pose that girl as. She is attractive, someone you would want to be naked in your house for a few days, but this is by far a male, pornographic media that has created this way of thinking. Well, let me tell you now that Hannah Horvath did this exact thing in season 2 of "Girls" and she looks like this:

I will leave you with that thought for now. Why didn't you picture that girl being someone like Hannah?

 

(This photo of her is also actually from the episode this happened, she is in the man's house in the shot)